


Poor Ferdie Gets Hanahaki

by I_am_literally_on_fire



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Hanahaki Disease, I may change the rating, M/M, Post A+ Support, Post Timeskip, Probably ooc, Spoilers for just about everything, a couple of briefly mentioned ships, au where GD and BE gang up on the church, fedie and thea are best friends don't @ me, guys i'm gay and tired, it's more like unacknowledged love, it's really bad, most BL were recruited but Dimi and Dedue are still fighting for the church, other characters are mentioned too but eh, there's some blood, unrequited love at the start but
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-17
Updated: 2019-09-19
Packaged: 2020-10-20 09:08:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20672834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_am_literally_on_fire/pseuds/I_am_literally_on_fire
Summary: Ferdinand gets the hanahaki disease. Good luck Ferdinand.





	1. Chapter 1: Yeah it's hanahaki alright

**Author's Note:**

> I know this is really bad don't come for me. I'm separating it into chapters even though it's not long enough to justify that. Too lazy to finish it first but I want to get this out of my system. I'm an actual mess. I probably didn't even format it right. This isn't even that original of a concept. Enjoy!

As the warmth hit his face, all Ferdinand could do was think of how much he loved sunny days. Not only were they more convenient for getting the monastery chores done, but when the bright light of dawn hit the stained glass, he couldn’t help but feel the carefree rays rub off on him.  
As he had finished his chores on schedule, with no thanks due to Linhardt’s neverending complaints, he had been given a moment of peace. The green bushes were dotted with colorful flowers that had newly bloomed. He basked in the sunlight, feeling at ease with the scent of the freshly brewed southern fruit blend in the air. It should be drinkable soon, but he’d rather wait for it to cool. In an attempt to be patient, he feels his mind drift into the clouds. However, before he’s completely lost to his daydreaming, a voice snaps him back to reality.  
“Who in all of Fodlan would ever willingly do that? I spoke with Petra and it’s definitely not a Brigid thing! I’m pretty concerned for the Blue Lioo-wait do you think they know about this?” Dorothea huffed and put down her tea. “I hope at least Mercedes wasn’t in on this ‘cheese-man’ business. She’s far too sweet for that.”  
As both he and Dorothea had concluded, a weekly afternoon tea was the perfect time to catch up with one another. It was a moment of joy between friends that no responsibility could take away. The monastery could be very demanding. There were always fish that needed to be caught or gardens that needed to be weeded. The chores would get done after the tea.  
“I may not know as much about the soldiers we recruited from the old Blue Lions as you, but what of Sylvain? He is our friend, is he not?”  
“Ferdie, I love Sylvain, but this would absolutely be something he would help with.”  
He scratched his head. Sylvain was certainly a character. “Fair enough.”  
With a subtle movement, Dorothea shifted her position. She crossed her arms onto the table. Unfortunately, her stylish move was ruined by the hair that fell into her mouth. She turned to her left and spit it out. Her elbow nagged the tablecloth and she moved her left hand down to fix it’s position.  
She turned her head back to face him and continued like nothing had happened at all. Smooth. At least she knew how to just move on from such a failure...  
“That’s enough about the cheese-man pranks, I want to talk about you and a certain someone…”  
“I beg your pardon?”  
“Don’t act like you’re immune to what’s been going around! Most of the army has paired off by now.” Her smile faltered for a second. “I may despise war, but it has a certain way of bringing people together. Thinking about how you could die on the battlefield without anyone knowing is certainly a motivator.”  
He felt like his throat was closing up.  
“I’m sorry to say that I don’t feel… passionate about anyone.”  
“I was kind enough to tell you about my little crush on Petra. At least humor your best friend? There must be someone you love.” Her grin spread and her eyes began to forget the horrors of war, even if just for a moment.  
“Thea… this talk is unbefitting of-”  
“So is talking about cheese-man! Now, tell me, is it Hilda?”  
He raised a finger. “I greatly appreciate the aid of the alliance to fight the church, and I do love Hilda, but make no mistake. That is purely platonic.”  
“Awww you’re making this so hard! Who could you be in love with! It has to be someone you already spend a lot of your precious time with!”  
To mask the light blush already forming, he lifted the tea cup to his lips. It’s best to stay silent when she teases like this.  
“Hm… What about Hubert?”  
His heart skips a beat.  
He pulls the tea cup from his lips before she could blink. He pressed it down with two hands, uncaring of the small drops of tea that land on his gloves, then he swiftly moves his shaky hands to cover his mouth. If he had been any slower in that process, the von Aegir tea set would lose a tea cup.  
Without even a second of warning the coming storm, he starts coughing. It’s as if his lungs are filled with fire. Not even his gloved hands can fully muffle the violent coughing fit he’s begun.  
“Ferdie! Are you alright?”  
To no avail, he struggled to catch his breath.  
He hacked up a response through coughs and shallow breaths. “Yes I- *hack* am perfect *hack* -ly fine!”  
Dorothea smacked him on the back with as much force as she could, which might have been a poor decision. She may have knocked him out of his chair, but hey, at least he stopped that horrible fit.  
Discombobulated, he stumbled out his words too quickly. “I’m sorry for the scare, some of the tea went down the wrong pipe.”  
She nodded and tucked her hair behind her ears. With one arm on his sleeve and the other on his shoulder, she helped him back up into his spot. To both of their delight, Ferdinand hadn’t knocked anything off of the table. When he was seated once more, she moved back into her own seat.  
“You have to be more careful, Ferdie! You gave me a start!”  
Either out of kindness or simple forgetfulness, Dorothea doesn’t bring up his love life again. He doesn’t feel like he cares which one it is.

\--

About a week had passed since the tea time incident with Dorothea. The Black Eagle Strikeforce was currently about to begin mounting a siege on Arianrhod. Ferdinand felt glad that he had battle to help distract him from his aching lungs. He tried to pass it off as nothing more than allergies, but it wasn’t going away. He should really go see Manuela after this was over…  
The weather was perfect for a battle. The sun wasn’t overbearing and he was glad to say that it was not raining. Arianrhod was truly as it was described. A shining white diamond that stuck out against the blue skies and green grass. It was a sight to behold. He used to believe that a building so pristime could only exist in fairy tales. However, he could not allow himself to be distracted by the beauty.  
Arianrhod was clearly going to be tough to take over. While the surprise attack did give the fortress less time to prepare, they still had to march there. That gave the soldiers who were still there enough time to at least maintain the impenetrable walls.  
Well, that reputation was soon going to be broken.  
To properly storm Arianrhod, the Black Eagle strikeforce had to separate into team A and team B. Team A would attack from the gates of the fortress and take on the main fighting units. Team B would attack from a side entrance that one of the spies had pointed out. Team B had to be fairly mobile so that they could balance attacking and backing up team A. If all went well, they would be able to overwhelm the forces by attacking from both sides.  
It made sense that the professor put him on team B. His movement would be perfect for the job. Of course it was a reasonable placement, but he longed to be on team A. They had the most eyes on them, and they were heading into the fight in the most fair way possible. They were going to be the glory in this battle and team B nothing more than an afterthought.  
He smacked himself on the forehead so quickly that the sudden noise almost knocked Bernadetta off her horse. What was he thinking! He should not question the professor’s decision! After all, the only way they’d been able to get out of the deadlock the war was in was her help. Everyone put their faith in the professor, most of all the Emperor herself. It was nice to see everyone back in high spirits. It was certainly… odd to say the least that a person like herself had managed to make such an impact on all of them. No one had expected her to become the new professor, but no one could imagine what life would be like had she not been there. She may have come back looking like a new person after escaping the darkness, but she was still the same professor who stayed up late at night fishing and had fantastic tea parties. No matter what happens, she will always support them. It would only be right for him to put his trust in her too.  
Ferdinand rubbed his eyes. The strategy the professor made required that team B split up. Half would move forward, half would be back up for team A. Bernadetta, Hillda, and him moved forward to strike the forces near the back of Arianrhod. By the time they would move to attack the mechanical titans, team A and the other part of team B would all meet up so they could work together to defeat those puppets.  
“Looks like we’re going to have to take on those… things now. We should get mo-owwww! My ankle!”  
The strategy may make it so Cornelia could be defeated in less than an hour, but that didn’t mean that this battle would feel any shorter.  
“A-are you okay! Linhardt is all the way across the fortress but he-”  
“Hilda.” She was fidgeting around on her Wyvern. She feigned innocence, but this was not the time. “This is an important battle. You would do well to help us fight these mechanical monstrosities! Do not try to get out of this. Your lazy ways are fine for books but this is a wh-”  
“Okay, okay! I get it! So what if I’m not in a rush to fight those things?”  
“Let us go now.”  
With some grumbles and at least four variations of “why did Claude agree to this..”, the three were on their way to meet up with the others. From where they rode past, he had a clear view of Petra taking out the soldiers in the left wing. Everyone was moving into position.  
There are many things you can’t expect in battle. Sometimes soldiers will make dangerous moves. The only thing left to do at that point is to back them up. Seeing Hubert move, alone, into position to attack one of the puppets made his heart stop, for just a second. Sometimes battle has beauty in it. The sound of his running horse’s hooves clacking against the smooth stone floor sounds like such wonderful music that it almost masks his concern. And sometimes in battle, you end up being the one to rush in to save your friends. In a cruel twist of fate, he can’t even raise his lance before he fell into nothing but coughs and wheezes. If it weren’t for the painful blow the machine dealt, he would have noticed the blood on his lips.

\--

Light flickered through his eyelashes. The brightness was strong enough for him to slowly open his eyes out of caution that the light would hurt his eyes. Upon opening his eyes, he saw the walls of the infirmary.  
What...what happened? All I can remember is-  
“So you’re finally awake. Took longer than I thought that would have…”  
He turned his head to look at Professor Manuela. Her arms were crossed and she had a.. stern expression on her face. She was standing in the left corner of the room and seemed to be reviewing patient reports.  
“Professor Manuela! What has happened? For how long have I been asleep?”  
To both his surprise and his horror, it’s not the professor that responds.  
“Two days.”  
Ferdinand near jumps out of his cot. A look of shock stains his face as he slowly turns his neck to the right. Sure enough, Hubert is by his side. His voice was dripping with disapproval. He was sure that just the glare would be enough to kill him as he squirmed under the other man’s stare. He was clearly angry.  
“Have you as much common sense as a feral rat? No, who am I fooling. A rat would have more sense than you! What were you thinking? By rushing into danger like that, you could have quite easily have been killed. We may have won, but you did not make that victory easier for us. If you had at least stopped to at least put a plan through your thick skull then maybe you would have not gotten injured. I will not allow one of her majesty's allies to-”  
“Goddess, Hubert. Who do you think I ran into battle protecting?”  
He could feel his anger rising. He did not have time for the itch he felt climb up his esophagus, he had to defend his choice.  
“I don’t know if you have noticed or not, but I am not some damsel in distress. I am perfectly capable of protecting myself. I, unlike you, would not have collapsed before even landing a single hit on the very beast I would risk my life to protect you from. You must be more sensible if you are to stay in this army.” Hubert turned to the door. “I shall take my leave now. Do not do anything rash while I am away.”  
With that, he was gone. He slammed the door in his exit, which shook Ferdinand more than he would care to admit. All he could do was stare at the door with an open mouth and wide eyes. He looked like a kicked puppy.  
“Look, rest for a little more. Your vitals seem to be pretty normal so you’re free to go. You’re lucky the impact only made you pass out. You don’t have any major injuries. I have to go.”  
With that, he was alone in the infirmary. He kept replaying Hubert’s anger, his glare, his exit in his head. Ferdinand’s chest began to ache. He caught the coughs with his gloved hand. The contact of something warm to his gloved hand makes him freeze.  
A flower petal. A flower petal covered in blood.  
He’s thankful that no one is around to hear how he struggles to keep the coughs as quiet as he can. When they slow to a stop, he moves his gloves away from his mouth. Unclenching his fist, he puts the white petal onto the side table. He leaned his head against the wall. Ferdinand decides to put his condition off until morning.  
Hanahaki disease.  
Before sleep graces him, he has one final thought.  
I am going to die.


	2. I should really calm down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ferdie is back on his bull.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did someone say confusing plotlines, oddly placed character backstories, and downright cheesy language? No? Too bad because I did.

He was starting to get the feeling that Hubert was avoiding him.   
3 days ago, Professor Manuela decided that it was safe to let him return to his normal schedule. He was lucky that she only warned him about trying to be a hero. She said to come by the infirmary if he started feeling ill. Warning him not to push it, telling him to think through his actions, and so on and so on. Manuela was beginning to remind him of his mother. When he’d slip on the stairs or break a tea cup in etiquette classes, she’d wipe his tears and say some variation of “Ferdinand. Do not waste your time on tears. There is so much more to be done.” Of course, she was always saying things like that. After all, she’d only married his father so her children could live a life free of worry. She only got a single child. No matter how cruel he could be, she’d do anything to help those she loves. Ferdinand likes to say he gets it from her.

“Father! Father!”  
The Prime Minister was already halfway down the stairs when Ferdinand sprinted to catch his father before he left. He had woken up early, just for this.  
“Do you have to depart so soon? You only just returned!”  
“Von Aegir. Please don’t delay me any longer. Father has work to do.”  
He was not prepared to just give up. Still in his pajamas, he ran at his father.   
He was not prepared for the swift smack to the face.  
“Listen when I speak to you! Your behavior needs to stop now. Were it not for your crest, you would have been thrown to the streets long ago.” The hateful look upon fathers face shook him to the bone.” As a noble, you must have more class. Do not make such foolish decisions. Pray I don’t reconsider the von Aegir heir.”  
It didn’t matter that he was the only von Aegir heir. It still was a terrifying thought to Ferdinand. As he sat halfway down the stairs, holding his cheek, all that mattered was his realization that maybe his father wasn’t who he thought he was. Mother wiped up the tears. She cleaned his sleepwear. She was the one who did the damage control. She always was.   
He spent all night in the library reading records about his father.

Those 3 days ago, he left the infirmary with the petal in his hand. With each step, he cursed himself. For being so foolish. For not noticing how completely in love he was. For seriously dying over it. He feared he’d ruin the petal with how many times he thumbed over it. It wasn’t like it mattered if this petal was ruined. He was sure that he’d be able to get more.  
“Ferdie!” Dorothea. He slipped the petal into his pocket. “I see that Manuela finally let you out of there. Do you know how worried we were? You could have died, do you know that?”  
He goes to open his mouth, but she continues. “Sure, you didn’t die. But I could have died from how worried I was! Do you even care for how-”  
Her voice trailed off into senseless words. Concern must have plagued her mind for too long. He pulled her into a hug, knowing Dorothea well enough to understand what she meant. Her brown eyes were clearly glossy, her face was twisted into concern.  
“It wasn’t even that big of an injury. I know but… It still felt like losing a friend. Don’t ever do that again.”  
“I’m sorry...”  
“It’s not just me either. Linhardt actually cut back his naptime, even if just for a little while. Hilda did her own chores. You weren’t even gone for that long, Ferdie.” Her smile was back. He felt a little less guilty. “Don’t even get me started on Hubie. He stayed at your bedside the entire time.”  
“He...he what?”  
“I think he only left to eat or avoid Manuela’s wrath. He was concerned in his own slightly creepy way.”  
“That simply cannot be true. He would never abandon his duties.”  
Dorothea giggled. She honest to the goddess giggled at that. “He was doing his work while visiting you. Hubie made Manulea give him a cot to do his work while watching over you”  
With less than ideal timing yet again, he feels coughs threaten to spill out his mouth. Not now, not now.  
“I’m sorry Thea but I just remem-*hack*-bered I have to go.”  
“Wait, come back!”  
He sprints out of the hall and away from the infirmary. He keeps running until he’s at the stables. They have always been his favorite place of refuge. The horses do not judge. However, he goes for the bushes this time. He pushes the leaves out of the way with his hands and starts to cough. Cough and cough and cough until the bottom of the bush is stained with a small pool of blood and a single white flower petal in the center.

\--  
Returning to the present, he saw Hubert peeking out from behind a corner. He probably thought that Ferdinand couldn’t see him. That would have been true, if it weren’t for 5 years of playing one sided hide-and-seek with him. While he was hiding in the shadows, his greasy hair would sometimes reflect the tiniest bit of light. Also, the whites of his eyes were in plain sight. It was much easier than you’d expect.  
“Hubert!”  
He made large strides toward the shadows. He was not going to let that darkness-sulker escape again. Avoiding him was extremely unprofessional; he would not tolerate these shenanigans any longer. He grabbed the man by his coat arm before he could flee.  
“In the dining hall, I entered and you exited. I tried to speak with you after my debriefing but you disappeared. I’d thought that I had caught you going to the dormitory stairs and you jumped out the window before I could catch you. You jumped out the window.”  
“I swear it has not been intentional.”  
“I’m going to say it again. You jumped out a window to avoid me. I understand that you’re mad at me for being impulsive and foolish and whatnot, but avoiding me is not the answer.”  
“...” He was squirming a little, trying to escape Ferdinand’s grasp on his arm.  
“You know what? We’re going to tea. Right now.”  
“I have work to do. I cannot simply dr-”  
“A single tea party with me is not going to throw the empire into chaos.”  
Hubert may have looked like he wanted to be anywhere else, but he at least nodded. Hopefully this would be a good chance to figure out why Hubert’s opinion towards him changed. Yes, it was foolish to rush into battle like that. Yes it was foolish of his body to shut down like that. Yes, he was foolish and selfish and reckless. There were countless things that could have widened the gap. However, unless they addressed it. It was going to be reaching in the darkness. He was at least glad he was given the chance to talk it over.  
A bright, cheery smile found its way onto his face. There was a pain he hadn’t felt before, a thump in his chest, and a bad aftertaste in his mouth. No matter how sweetly he smiled, there would always be a bitter reminder of the clock ticking away at his body.

\--

The fragrance of the steaming tea tickled his nose as he fiddled with the tablecloth. It was a beautifully designed red imported piece of fabric. The flower centerpiece had 3 flowers, all daisies, one of which was dying. Beautiful flower crowns sat upon students’ heads, and Sylvain was giving someone who looked an awful lot like Felix a bouquet in the distance.  
Have there always been so many flowers?  
“Thank you for not fleeing again.”  
“I was not going to flee.”  
He tries to ignore the bitterness of the tea. He could have sworn that this was his favorite blend; he must have just mixed it up with one of the teas Hubert can tolerate. It may be… less enjoyable than his favorite, but he still takes a sip. “Had I not grabbed you by the arm, we wouldn’t even be having this conversation. What were you doing in the first place?”   
“I was looking for someone.”  
“Oh? Would you mind telling me who?”  
“I do not owe you every detail of my daily tasks. However, I do owe you my thanks.”  
“For?”  
“For my favorite coffee. Our tea times together are not incredibly frequent, but you should have run out a while ago. You bought more for me.”  
He was right. The coffee did run out a while ago and he did buy more.  
“I hardly deserve thanks for that! Our tea times are very precious to me. I would hardly be a kind host and friend if I did not have your favorite!’ The next words came out with more resistance than the last. “I obviously care very much for you.”  
He could have sworn Hubert was blushing, but his eyes were most definitely playing tricks on him. “May we please circle back to why you wanted to talk to me?”  
“Ah, I am sorry.” He paused. “What do you think of me?”  
“What do you mean by that?” Hubert brought the coffee to his lips and sipped it for a little longer than necessary. He peered at the red-head-tea-manic from above the rim of the cup.  
“Please just tell me why you’ve been avoiding me. If you pity me in the slightest, then tell me.” Hubert set down the coffee and looked to the side. “My friend. Tell me.”  
He opened and closed his mouth a few times, like there was something he wanted to say but was not going to say. His eyebrows furrowed.  
“After the incident at Arianrhod, I decided to think over your actions. For her majesty’s sake, I do not plan to waste more time with you.”  
“Waste more time with me?” If this meant what he thought it meant…  
“Yes.”  
“You do not plan to ‘waste more time’ with me? Is that truly all our time together has been to you?” Anger shook his heart like a boat in a storm. This time, he knows that the petals are coming. Their gentle caress in his throat is all too familiar, but he swallows them back. The taste of blood poisons his words. “You’ve never cared?”  
“That is not what I meant. Ferdie, I-”  
“You what? Implying that you pity me was supposed to be a jest.”   
“I do not pity you. I just have been trying to say that I want-”  
“You have made what you want clear.”   
Wordlessly, he stands up from the chair. The scratching felt worse and worse. He had to get out of here before everyone in Garreg Mach knew about his condition. With spin of a cape and some hurried footsteps, he was gone, leaving Hubert alone at the tea table.  
Well that could have gone better.  
Unfortunately, he didn’t make it to his trash can in time. The vines squeezed his throat and choked his breath. He’d cough and cough and take a shallow breath and cough and cough. More blood and petals pushed their way onto the floor, staining the carpet. Great.   
He would prefer sipping tea with a pain his chest than coughing so hard he felt like he was going to throw up his heart. Even if it never meant anything, even if it was nothing but a waste of time. Of course he had hanahaki. Despite Hubert never having caring for him, he still loved that fool.   
Thankfully the carpet was already red. Even if he couldn’t get the stain out, it would be hard to notice. When the coughing stops and he can breathe again, he snatches the nearest pillow and screams into it. 

\--

Yet again, curiosity plagues his thoughts. He had cleaned up the mess he made a couple of days ago already, but there was still an awful amount of flower petals in his room. Since that day, he has had mild fits every evening. When morning came and the sun rose, he would wash off the blood and fill the trash with his petals.   
He picked up another one. “I wonder…”   
Bernadetta always included beautiful and descriptive depictions of nature. In addition to that, Dorothea mentioned that ‘if Bernie wasn’t in her room, she’s in the greenhouse’. He should at least try to ask her about the flowers. She wouldn’t… react well to him telling her about his hanahaki, so he’d have to avoid telling her exactly why he’s asking a flower petal. He could most likely just find a book on the disease in the library, but personally asking her about the petal was probably the best course of action.  
After checking her room, the greenhouse, and the graveyard, the library is the only other place she could be. Opening the door, he can already smell the pages and the burning wax. It’s a huge refreshment from the flowers he has been smelling as of late. Sure enough, Bernadetta was scribbling notes in a journal at one of the tables.   
“Bernadetta.”  
“AAAA-” She fell out of her chair at the call of her name. While she was falling, she accidentally kicked her journal off with her leg, and it landed on her head. “Oof!”  
“Are you alright?”  
“Oh! Ferdinand! I-I’m sorry! I thought that you were Hubert or one of the guards...” Was his voice getting that bad?   
“Do not worry, Bernadetta. I was looking for you because I need to ask a favor.”  
“I’m not ready for you to read Volume 3 yet! I don’t even have a title-”  
“No, no.” He slowly moved his hands up and down. “Calm yourself. I just want to see if you can identify a flower for me. Would you be alright with that?”  
“I...guess I could do that? Do you have a sample of the flower?”  
He rummaged through his pockets for the petal he took with him this morning. It should still be in good enough condition; he could only hope for as much. Fishing the petal out of his pocket, he handed it over to Bernie’s open palm.  
“Hmm…” She lifted the petal with two of her fingers and squinted. Then into her palm, then holding it back up again. “I can’t tell just from looking at it...”  
“Oh.”  
“I can look it over in my flower identification book tonight! I mean, if you still would want it looked over...”  
Finally some good news. She’d probably be able to tell him by tomorrow. “That would be perfect, actually. I will be in the library tomorrow if you cannot find me.”  
“Alright, good!” With a nod of his head, he left to go finish his chores. Before leaving the library, he looked back at her. She was now looking at her story upside down. The petal sample he gave her was sitting next to a collection of ink-wells. Perhaps not the best place to put a flower petal your friend asked you to identify, but even if she did spill ink on it, he certainly had enough replacements. 

\--

Bernadetta still hadn’t gotten back to him. It had been two days since she said she would study the petal for him. Three days since the truth about Hubert’s feelings. He would normally not allow himself to think about that...rejection, seeing as he would likely start viciously coughing again. It didn’t matter that he was thinking about it now, though, as he was currently coughing up blood and petals. Yet another time where he didn’t make it to his trash can. He has to remind himself to care that he’s going to have to clean up the blood again.  
It should have been over by now. This new length of the fits was going to cause him problems. More time dedicated towards hiding the coughs meant less time dedicated toward his duty. Thea made a passing comment about him needing some cough drops, but no one was truly close enough to figure him out. He thinks that he’d rather keep it that way.  
“Hey! Ferdie! Open up!”  
Time practically halts. Yet, his coughs do not.   
“Are you okay? Can I come in?”  
“Now is-” Cough. “Not the-” Cough. “Best ti-” Cough. “-me”   
If she entered his room right now, she would know. He was sitting on the floor with his arms supporting his weight. Auburn hair had been tied back to avoid getting clumps of blood in it. Calling him Ferdinand von Aegir now would be a disgrace. His head was hanging low, looking at the blood on the floor, accepting of his fate. He should be drinking tea or doing his work, just anything to be his optimistic self again.  
Optimistic… right. He would salvage this. If he could just hide all of the flower petals, he would be in a better position. At least he could pass it off as some other disease. Frantically, he grabbed at the bloodied flower petals and deposited them under his bed. Everytime he coughed, he would drop a few of them, creating a scene of blood and flower petals covering his floor. He wasn’t going to finish in time.  
“I’m coming in!”   
The clicking of her picking the lock only made his heart’s beating sound unbearable. If he could stop coughing up the petals than maybe he would-  
The smooth sliding of a lock being undone makes the situation feel completely silent. All saving throws are completely useless at this point. There’s nothing he can do. The door creaks open, but Ferdinand doesn’t look up. He can’t bring himself to face her.  
Her voice is nothing more than a whisper as she says, “Ferdie… what is all of this?”  
Of course now his coughing stops. He shouldn’t look up now, but he does anyway. Dorothea’s eyes are wide and her hands are shaking. Beckoning her to close the door, he shakes flowers off of his blood covered gloves. She grabs the door handle and pulls it toward her. After closing the door, she turns to face him. Pain overtakes her face. She covers it and slides to the floor.  
“For how long…?”  
“Almost four weeks.”  
He manages to find the strength to smile for his friend. Gentle smiles are all he can offer. If only hanahaki targeted platonic love; he would have never gotten it in the first place. However, wishful thinking cannot change the blood-stained present.   
They weep together.

\--

“I am so, so, so sorry this took so long! Please forgive me!” Bernadetta began bowing her head up and down.  
“There is hardly any need for apologies. You identified it, yes?”  
“At first I confused it with a couple of other generic white flowers, but this definitely a white gardenia. Is that... good?”  
White gardenia petals...   
“Yes. Thank you. I appreciate you taking the time to do this for me.”  
“You’re not mad?”  
“I swear to you that I am not mad.”  
Her body visibly relaxed. As much as he would love to ask her about what’s planning to do in the next volume, he has to get going. He mumbled a goodbye of some sort and headed straight for the market. The energy and life would not be the most ideal for the state he was in, but he had to pick up a few things.  
First and foremost, a pack of white gardenia seeds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you at least kinds enjoyed it. Next chapter should be the final one and should be up in like 3-4 days. I am so sorry.

**Author's Note:**

> I probably should have proofread this again before posting it but I'm too tired for that. If you actually found joy in this train wreck than I can say with confidence that I will post more..uh.. eventually.


End file.
